Better sorry than safe

Below is the funny email exchanges between my colleagues.  I love my colleagues, many of them have a very good sense of humour.

_____________________________________________
From: Sowinski,Theodore L.
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 9:40 AM
To: Springer,James C.; Collalti,Philip J.; Kong,Samuel; Aubele,John P.; Wisel,Sherree L.
Subject: RE: Fire Safety Discussion Starts in 5 Minutes!

Better sorry than safe.

_____________________________________________
From:   Springer,James C. 
Sent:   Tuesday, October 13, 2009 9:39 AM
To:     Collalti,Philip J.; Kong,Samuel; Aubele,John P.; Wisel,Sherree L.; Sowinski,Theodore L.
Subject:        FW: Fire Safety Discussion Starts in 5 Minutes!
Just in time, received this at 9:35am for the 9:30am meeting today!
______________________________________________
From:   Chicago HPST 
Sent:   Tuesday, October 13, 2009 9:35 AM
Subject:        Fire Safety Discussion Starts in 5 Minutes!
Monica Carter from the Chicago Fire Department will speak about high-rise fire safety and general fire safety in Room 204-205-206Sat 9:30am today.
Please join us for information, treats and safety prizes.
Your High Performance Safety Team

仆你個臭...

"仆街" 呢個用詞, 我想普遍香港人都知道佢嘅用法同意思。但係呢個世界, 要"仆"的未必一定是"街";  以下就是一個發生係我於中學四年級嘅一段有趣回憶。

那年, 地理科阿 Sir 決定同全班去一次 field trip (實地考察), 務求使我哋對課本裏面嘅知識有更具體嘅了解。Field trip 嘅目的地選擇了西貢嘅南蛇尖。當日起點由北潭凹開始, 沿途風景怡人, 但係大部份山路小徑都非常之險峻。差不多抵達南蛇尖山峰嘅一段山徑, 可以話係危機重重, 因為路面上鋪滿碎石, 而且斜度甚高。 還記得那位阿 Sir, 身材高挑瘦削兼駝背, 在這最後嘅路程好不幸失足, 由高處滾下。 當時見佢個樣都幾痛苦, 都跌得頗應, 膝頭同手肘都流晒血。

回程時候, 幾位同學都議論紛紛, 笑說阿 Sir 仆街。我為人一向無聊, 所以都搭一份咀; 我話: "我哋行咗成日都係啲山路小徑, 又唔係街, 仆都係仆小徑啦!"  幾位同學都不約而同的破口大笑。

我心諗, 其實阿 Sir 跌完起返身之後, 心裏都可能暗暗的爆一句, "仆你個臭小徑呀!"...

I want to see you naked

I want to see you naked,
From the first time we come to know each other.

I want to see you naked,
No matter where you would go.

I want to see you naked,
That is the only way to know you better.

I want to see you naked,
Not of your body but of your heart and soul.

I want to see you naked,
And that is all I wanted to do.

男歡女愛

"When Harry Met Sally (90 男歡女愛 )" 是一套我至愛的電影 (my all time favourite)。  我本人認為 "When Harry Met Sally" 簡直是愛情小品中的一個經典之作。  在 80 年代後期出生的人可能也不會知道這套電影, 聽到 "男歡女愛" 四個字時還會以為我是在說鄭裕玲和黃子華在 2000 年的無線電視劇集, "男親女愛"。

片中的 Harry (Billy Crystal) 與 Sally (Meg Ryan) 由起初的平水之交, 繼而成為知心好友, 輾轉反惻的經過十五年, 到最後終於共諧連理。  由於他們倆人在長久的相處中, 給大家一個機會去清楚認識對方。 

在現實生活裡, 在也有很多拍拖成十多年才與伴侶結婚, 生小朋友的朋友。 他們和另一半都經過漫長的相處, 清楚對方的一切, 性格好與壞, 是龍是蛇, 到一起走進人生路的另一步。

雖然 "When Harry Met Sally" 是我的至愛電影, 而我身邊亦有很多朋友的經歷作為借鏡, 但在我的情感觀念裡我卻常被那份直角的感覺蒙蔽。  當我義無反顧, 全心去投入了一段關係之後, 才發覺身邊的那個人其實與我想像的差距卻很大。   

限量版

一位素未謀面的好朋友著我看了 Wyman (黃偉文) 在蘋果日報的專欄, 「Buy Me Sunday」 裡的一篇文章, 題目叫 "託人買嘢"。  Wyman 寫的歌詞聽得多, 但對他的寫作就很少接觸。  閱讀中得知 Wyman 是一位潮流時裝的喜好者, 文中提到一個他很喜歡的名牌子, 皆因其 "是款多量少"。

"物以罕為貴", 我想這個概念大部人都會明白。 一件物品之所以罕有, 通常因其乃是天然之物, 產量有限, 因此而變得寶貴。 但這個世界, 還有一種人造的 "物以罕為貴" 現象, 這個就是叫 "限量版"。

年紀愈大, 就愈覺得 "限量版" 這個慨念有點諷刺。 因為加了一個 "限量版" 的形容詞, 物品就成為了人們爭相搶購的對象。

豉油的故事

源如中國, 豉油已有二千五百多年的歷史。  在日常的烹調和飲食裡, 豉油基本上是不可缺少的調味料。

在美國的雜碎館 (唐人餐館的俗稱), 炒飯必須用豉油調味教色, 否則老外 (白與黑) 不會吃; 如給老外一碟陽州炒飯, 他們必即時顏面扭曲, 如同給餵食了狗肉似的!

有一位泛泛之交L君, 喜歡呃飲呃食, 性格吝嗇但又愛吹噓。  L君的社交圈子中有一班與我頗稔熟的朋友, 而 L君都會經常於這班朋友搞的聚會中飲飲食食。 有次L君給我說, "人哋出雞, 我都要出啲豉油啦", 表明他在那些聚會中也不是光吃的。  我心諗, L君所指的豉油有可能是從各大小餐館收集回來的免費豉油包吧?

有一年回港, 與一班中學同窗到卡啦 OK 聚會消遣。  當年大家都已在社會裡工作了數年。  不知從那裡開始, 我與一位舊同窗的女友 (現任太太) 和另一位舊同窗T君談到童年生活。  T君為人愛炫耀及說話誇張, 當晚與他踫面時已即遞上名片, 更叮囑我要留意他的經理級銜頭。  T君向我們炫耀他在工作上的成就比起童年的生活有著天淵之別, 並說曾幾何時家境十分拮据, 就連家中食用的豉油也得在街邊買豬腸粉時向小販索求多一點而來...當時我和舊同窗的女友亦只有點頭對望暗笑。

Eulogy 1999

[A Eulogy for my beloved sister, Eleanor, who passed away on 9/8/1999]

Eleanor, the name whom you know best, was my beloved sister. However, to the family she was also known affectionately as BB, Eleanor's childhood name, or Pui-sze, Eleanor's Chinese name.

Though Eleanor was the tinnest one in size in the family, her life's accomplishment was, on the other hand, the most brilliant, most successful and most celebrated. These facts about her life could be well attested by all the people who knew her, studied with her, worked with her, and from all the awards and recognition she received.

Eleanor's life had also given our family name, Kong, the greatest tribute. The word Kong, in Chinese it means river. A good river, along its course allows people to use it for drinking water, or sometimes being worked on, such as building dams to exploit its potential for electrical power. Like a good river, Eleanor's life was to some symbolised as the drinking water, in that I meant she was a helpful person, and was always willing to render herself to anyone in needs. On the other hand, like building a dam, the Golden Apple Foundation which had chosen her as the Golden Apple Scholar, provided her the scholarships and training to prepare her to become the best teacher for the Illinois' school system. Eleanor's goal in life as a good teacher is exactly the motto of ISU. "Gladly We Learn and Teach".

Unfortunately, this river has stopped flowing on September 8th, 1999. However, I can assure all of you that this river has not turned into a pool of stagnant water. The tears we all shed for her today have fallen into this river and have created tens of thousands of ripples. Like a ripple, which starts from a small circle, will expand eventually into many larger circles, one after another. Now, it is the ripples that help Eleanor's radiance to be continued.

The family though is deeply sad to have lost her, is also extremely proud of her and loves her. Lastly, I ask all of you not only to mourn for Eleanor today, but also to remember her forever.